Break the Lake!

Hello! I thought I would never blog again. I thought it wasn’t my cup of tea but don’t know why today I feel like sharing something with you people. The occasion is nothing but my graduation. Finally, after all the grumbling about the college, the timings, and the travelling I finally passed my graduation with distinction with English literature as my subject. There is a long list that I need to thanks a and owe this success but this blog isn’t to thank them but to share something that has been disturbing me from long and even though I passed with “descent” marks I still have some grudges in my heart. Yeah! I am talking like a typical geek who is unhappy even when they get tons of marks. But I don’t blame myself for this. I was never like this.

I remember in school days passing in maths was great achievement for me. And ranks and percentages never concerned my soul much. Even in standard tenth I behaved like a naughty child and ended up with what they call “first class”. That was the time when I was “categorized”. I felt somehow inferior. Not because I made myself feel it but people made me feel that. Maybe this was the thing that made me study hard in standard twelfth. I also have to give credit to my class teacher who “made” me study. And my “class” was raised to “Distinction”. I was damn happy; my rank was fourth in the state. For people a great achievement, for me it was my gift to my teachers who expected that this girl with brain will do something.

That was the time when the expectations started building up. And I was drowned into the lake of temptations. Today I get disappointed if I miss eighty because I am used to it. Rather I would I say I am “made” to get used to it. This was not the thing that I wanted from my life. Never ever! But it gives me displeasure to say that I have become a “marks freak” by the end of my educational journey. People say nothing ends with graduation, it is a beginning, but I want to end it here.

I want to get out from the clutches of expectations, temptations and competition. These are the things that have changed my life over three years making this “carefree girl” a “geek”? This is not happening. People say don’t take a “break”. I don’t know what I am going to do but one thing  I know is if I have to get rid of three demons I have to take a “break”  thanks for bearing this if you agree do share it. If you don’t than keep on swimming in the lake of fire..:P;) cheers!